My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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