have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
