You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
