I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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