She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
