i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
