Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Randomize
