he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
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