he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
