When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
