my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
