In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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