Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
