First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
