Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
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