the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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