Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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