your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
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I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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