Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
