I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
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Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
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THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
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