I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'm getting married
To pizza
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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