Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
