i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
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I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
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This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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