I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Randomize