their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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