I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
