After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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