IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
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she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
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im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Holy sore nipples Batman
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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