In the future we'll all be gay
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize