i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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