God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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