Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
