the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
You took a bar mat shot.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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