I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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