oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
