Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Randomize
