I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
