brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
