I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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