Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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