remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
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Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
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We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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