OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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