I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
His nipple licking is glorious
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