She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
