Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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