I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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