I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Randomize
