I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
