please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
