Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
