Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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