If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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