I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
