No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
