you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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