Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
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