If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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