He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
